Some Reflections on the French Portion of my Camino...
In the beginning this is going to sound like a lot of whining. I don't want to be whiner. Above all I don't want you to get any message other than "This is an amazing experience..." I have had a lot of trouble finding reliable information (especially troubling in this Internet age) about the route from Lourdes to Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port. There is a lot of commentary including warnings about such things as bad way - marking and less than reliable lodging information. After months of digging and reading, I put together a reasonable portfolio of English language electronic resources. At Lourdes, I was given a printout of the most up to date route and lodging information (in French) which I immediately photographed and saved in my phone. I was ready. what I was not ready for was the complete and utter aloneness of the experience. I have literally seen NO other pilgrims on the Chemin de Compostelle for 5 days. I met one Fin in one of the places that I stayed and I know a French woman named Gaille is one day ahead of me because I have seen her name on the pilgrim registry at 3 hostals. I have encountered the occasional biker or runner here or there. I have had 4 conversations in 5 days 2 with strangers, one with an hospitaler, and one with a pharmacist who was particularly interested in what possesses a 53 yo American to do something like this. Being alone has mostly been okay. This is a retreat: Time to pray, time to reflect, time to enjoy nature, time to do something so radically different. At one point on Tuesday I was listening to John Michael Talbot's 'Table of Plenty' album and burst into an impromptu praise and worship in the middle of the French Countryside. Those cows and sheep have now received the Gospel! Generally, it's good for an extrovert to have these times. I get that. But there is a downside to all this aloneness too. When involved in a strenuous undertaking, it is good to have supportive and encouraging voices reminding you of the good of it. Every person I know who has walked the Camino talks of the amazing experiences of the people they have met along the way: the sharing of stories, the sharing of encouragement, the sharing of misery. I have had the amazing encouraging voices of friends at home, and I really appreciate all the electronic encouragement, but I am an external processor (I work things out by talking about them more than by thinking about them) and I am missing that part of this experience. Yesterday the aloneness contributed to some frustrations and, in the afternoon turned dangerous. It was, for the most part, a good day. It was raining hard all morning. I think I handled the hiking in the rain with grace and good humor. I was worried about my feet getting wet. But the Goretex lining of the boots and the rain pants Matt Risi gave me worked to keep the bottom half of me dry. I found out that my 'rain jacket' is anything but waterproof so my upper body was kinda wet and cold all morning. Good lesson to learn and easily resolved. The rain probably contributed to my getting lost in the morning. I was looking down a lot to watch the path (wet, muddy, uneven) and probably missed a trail marker. I ended up turned around and walked BACK to the village I had just come from on a different path! costing myself an hour and more than 2 miles of traveling. Thanks to nice stranger who had, by chance, seen me both leave by one path and return by the other, I got pointed back in the right direction, mad, wet, hungry, and an hour later than I wanted to be, but going in the right direction. I finally arrived in the ONE village on my whole route with a restaurant/bar and had lunch about 1:30 (Amazing Roast Beef!) After lunch, I tended to my feet, I wanted to make sure they were not wet. The blister from the day before was bothering me a bit, but it was bandaged and padded. My feet were moist, but not from rain, from sweat. the outsides of my socks and the insides of shoes were dry. The moisture was what had been wicked away by my incredibly efficient hiking socks. I checked the blister, it was ok. I dried my feet, put on my boots and headed out. The afternoon was beautuful. The fog cleared from the mountains. The sun was out and warm. All was good. The way markings and my maps were all in agreement. In the afternoon, I had choices. I intentionally chose the shorter, less scenic (relative term) because of the lost hour in the morning. It was already turning into a long day. The afternoon path lead me through a forest and the way was well-marked. Until it wasn't. At one point, the path emerged from the forest into an area that had been clear cut recently. no more trees, no more way markings. Ok. Fine. The path was still clear and the way was intuitive. The river to my left would lead to the city to which I was headed. My intuition was correct. I made one wrong turn, but it was easily corrected. The problem of the afternoon was not getting lost, it was the length of the journey. At the 9 hour mark my left foot was killing me. The pain from the previous day's blister was causing me to walk in a way that was rubbing another blister on the same foot. I could feel it, but I could do nothing about it. I had to press on. But my stride became slower. I stopped frequently. I was exhausted, but had no choice. There was no place to stop. Rest was only assured by reaching Oloron-Sainte-Marie, the largest city on my itinerary until Pamplona. 11 hours after I started walking, I walked into Place de Sainte Pierre in Oloron. I had arrived. My phone had a string signal, but I realized I had never received a call back from the hospitaler at the hostal where I would spend the night. I bought a bottle of water and sat down in the square and tried to call him again. No answer. I left another message. Google maps gave me clear directions for the 15 minute walk to the Hostal. Not bad.I could do it. I found the hostal. It was clearly marked, but also has clearly not been opened for a long time. So much for the "up to date information" from Lourdes. I checked my resources. This was the #1 listing on 4 different lists. OK. I had 4 other possible places. To make a long story a little less long, none worked out. OK. The third hotel I went to had a room at a reasonable price (I actually has a couple if "hotel nights" in my Camino budget, so this doesn't break the bank.) The worse part of the day came when I removed my boots from my aching feet. I realized I now had, not one, but four blisters of varying size on my left foot! Why always the left? OK. I can deal with this. cleanliness us the key. Don't let them get infected. But the pain is ridiculous. I knew there was no way I was going to walk on that left foot on Friday. What to do? I still have 4 day's walking to get to Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port to officially "begin" the Camino Frances. And I am already a day behind schedule. This is where being alone so completely sucks. This situation demands discussion. Talking with another person. Weighing options. Pros and Cons. Assurance that the course of action to be taken was the best course. It's just the way extroverts operate. One thing was certain: I could not walk on this foot tomorrow. Friday would be a rest day, a decision day. If I am to complete the Camino in the time allotted, I could not fall 2 or 3 days behind schedule. So I read. I read all I could get my hands on about blisters. Care. Prevention. Walking. I consulted the itinerary and saw that the next 4 stages included 2 20 mile days. More importantly, I noticed that there were no stopping points, places with hostels or hotels, that I could make the decision to shorten the day (as I had already done once in the journey). Given my further frustrations: waymarking problems (I am an inexperienced hiker who should not be running around the unmarked backcountry of a foreign country by myself), nutrition & hydration concerns (many of these little village have no restaurants, cafes, or markets where supplies can be replinished during the journey; AND sports drinks for replenishing electrolytes simply are not sold in France - no Gatorade, powerade, aquarius. In France, "sports drink" means energy drink - like redbull), and further housing concerns (the biggest city on my itinerary has no center for pilgrims, how can I trust the list I have with regards to smaller places), I decided to throw in the towel on the French route in favor of the success of the better-known and well-traveled traditional route. And in favor of my poor left foot. Always the left. Very Sinister. I consulted a pharmacist today about treatment for my existing blisters. This aftetnoon, I took a train to the City of Pau. I will be here overnight and tomorrow I will head for Saint Jean. These are not lost days, the interior work of pilgrimage continues and the healing necessary to continue is facilitated by my staying off the foot. I will re-begin the Camino on Sunday or Monday one or 2 days ahead of schedule. AND with a lot of other pilgrims This feels a little like failure. But ultimately, it feels like success.
19 Comments
Mary Poirier
4/24/2015 06:43:54 am
Praying for those blisters!!!!! I wish you could meet up with Michael! Praying Fr. Bart!!!
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Amy Otto
4/24/2015 07:33:42 am
I have really been looking forward to you starting to walk. I'm sorry you've had a rough go, but I have to tell you I am loving living vicariously through the trials and tribulations. What an epic journey.
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Alvina Hoyack
4/24/2015 07:36:35 am
Not failure, Fr. Bart, just a few "road blocks". Praying for you:)
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Kate
4/24/2015 07:58:15 am
Salut, Fr Bart! You will enjoy SJPP. If you can attend mass in French and Basque on Sunday, do. It is worth it. Rather than making the SJPP-Roncevaux journey in one day, call the gîte in Orisson (Jean-Jacques is a wonderful host) and plan to stay there upon leaving SJPP. You have to arrive by 2pm, I think. But you will have an easier time taking the crossing in two stages, especially with your foot. And do not cover the blister--ask someone about the "needle & thread" treatment. Your injury needs oxygen to heal quickly. Bon chemin!
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J Alexander's Aunt Peggy
4/24/2015 08:01:23 am
Dear Father Bart,
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Rhoel
4/24/2015 08:23:09 am
I don't see it as a failure; more a learning experience. As you said, Father, you're not the most experienced hiker and you have found little resources available to help with this leg of the journey. You've learned a thing or two from this and you are moving on.
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Sandra Fondren
4/24/2015 08:50:08 am
I hear that you are discouraged but you've done a wonderful job and you should focus on what you've accomplished. Great Job old friend! Of course I'm joking about the old part since I'm older than you. I can't imagine getting past 2 miles and have twice the amount of blisters on both feet. ;)
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Rob Moreland
4/24/2015 08:51:40 am
We're following you at St.Ignatius in Mobile. I'll add you to our prayer intentions at our Men of St. Joseph group on Tuesday mornings. Please pray for a very special MOSJ intention while you are on your journey. God bless.
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Mary Nett
4/24/2015 09:13:46 am
Sounds like some wise decisions being made, all in all. A suggestion or two - orange juice with a pinch of salt works well for electrolyte replacement, if you can get juice. Another relatively simple fix is cottage cheese on buttered toast, or some other fresh cheese, works well, too. Strength for the journey, sir!
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Brenda Draper
4/24/2015 09:23:15 am
You made the right decision. I am not on your prayer list but have been praying for you since your journey began.
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Jerry Meyer
4/24/2015 09:27:19 am
You are right not to walk on those! Prayers for healing, and for, as you say, "the interior work." Putting you on the prayer board in our chapel.
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Idalee Pitino
4/24/2015 09:35:48 am
Chip, I'm sorry to read about your painful experience. You will be on my mind and in my heart. And, I plan to write your name in the Book of the Remembered at St. Bart's tomorrow. God bless, Idalee
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Laura B.
4/24/2015 10:11:13 am
Your story reminds me of a homily I heard on May 4, 2014 in Tucson, the Emmaus story (Luke 24). The priest told how Jesus is ALWAYS with us through good times and bad and He truly understands our human trials, our whining and dark times. He is our companion, our listener, our all in all. The story rescued me that day from a troubling time and through tears, I vowed to continue to walk with Him and be more aware of His presence. Thank you, as you guessed, that priest was you. How ironic to hear your pilgrimage to this point has been more about the challenge of encountering oneself, introspection, solitude and even fear. God sustains us and His amazing grace always rescues us. Praying for strength for your journey and joyful, thoughtful, challenging and surprising companionship when it is in His time. Blessings on you Father!
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Bill
4/24/2015 10:15:10 am
1. Well, you were talking with somebody because you made the not only correct but decision, but the only realistic one. to continue to walk on the foot even a few kilometers
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4/24/2015 11:23:32 am
I can't help but hear your struggles and current Camino experience and wonder if this is simply not God speaking on so many levels. As an extrovert it would be easier in ways to be surrounded by so many others...but perhaps you are meant to be alone in the silence and solitary for a reason. I have had many friends walk for many different reasons...perhaps you are walking with countless who struggle with being lonely, depression, the introverts, those who simply have no one in their lives. Perhaps you walk to pray that they will find God as well as a companion along the way. Peace to you and Buen Camino
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Rachel H
4/24/2015 01:17:37 pm
As frustrating, and painful, as these last few days have been for you, I'm sure that God has allowed this for reasons of his own. I truly believe that some good will come of it, although you may never know yourself exactly what that was. Please know that we are all following you and praying for you every day.
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Cathy Meyer
4/24/2015 04:27:27 pm
Continued prayers for your healing. Tough decision, but I think a wise one. ¡Animo - lo puedes hacer!
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Elsie
4/25/2015 09:02:47 am
Things can only get better. It sucks that you are having these problems, I continue to pray for you, big hug! Elsie
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Linda KAPINOS
4/26/2015 11:13:22 am
Hikers/back papers out duct tape on their feet bf setting out. Don't know if you can find duct tape there. Blessings to you.
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The Pilgrim PriestFr. Bart Hutcherson, OP is a priest of the Dominican Province of the Most Holy Name of Jesus in the Western USA. From April 20 - June 1, 2015 he walked from Lourdes, France to Santiago de Compostella, Spain. This page contains observations, images and reflections from the Way of St. James. Archives
October 2015
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